Boundaries — You Can Say No.
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tip
Dear Awesome Woman,
You can say no.
Not an easy thing for you? I do know that saying no can bring a whole wave of feelings of guilt, shame and internal self criticism. I get that.
So, let’s do something different. Let me replace your internal critical voice and be a voice of loving compassion that gives you permission to say no. This, I whisper to you: “It’s ok, honey. You can say no. You may feel some discomfort in your mind when you do, but your soul will thank you. There are times when your soul wants you to say no to preserve your energy, your strength, your health, your dignity, and your well being.”
It’s awesome to be a giving person, but drainage only leads to resentment and the opposite of good health. Finding balance is an important life practice.
In Kabbalistic terms, there is the energetic flow of Chesed, which is ‘giving.’ This attribute is metaphorically on the right arm while the flow of Gevorah, which is ‘limit’, is on the left arm (mindbody pain will sometimes present itself on corresponding sides of the body considering the emotional/metaphysical issue you are having).
Now, at times, giving is appropriate for your mind, body and soul and at times, limiting your flow of giving energy is good for your mind, body and soul.
How do you know which to choose? Check in with your body and soul to discern (I invite you to schedule a complimentary Clarity call if you’re not sure how to hear the wisdom of your body, emotions and intuition). Check to see if your plate is too full, if your load is too heavy. Will giving to that one-more-person cause you resentment? Turn every ‘should’ into a ‘could’ and listen to the wisdom that flows. Is that person a trustworthy person to give to? Will you snap at your loved ones because you’ll feel stressed and overburdened by saying yes to that extra task? Will you wind up in bed with aches and pains? Will you not be able to complete your own soul-driven tasks (mothering, work, art, creativity, writing, exercising, learning etc.) if you say yes?
When Chesed and Gevurah are balanced, meaning both are being used wisely, you get the flow of Tiferes, which is Harmony. Your life and body run more smoothly.
Here are a few thoughts that can help you respect your limits and keep your body and energy harmonized (some of these are from Harriet Braiker’s book, “The Disease to Please.’ I keep them hung up in my closet and say them as affirmations as a reminder for choosing good health):
“I do not need to rely on or open up to everyone — there are conditions.”
“I know that I don’t always have to do what others want, need or expect from me.”
“I can be kind and hope other’s feelings won’t be hurt. Sometimes their feelings will get hurt. I’m willing to release the need to try to protect others from getting hurt by hurting myself.”
“I can choose to give to certain people when and if I want to do so.”
“It’s human to disappoint people and let them down.”
“Sometimes I am happy and upbeat and sometimes I express negative feelings to others.”
“Sometimes I will share my problems and needs with others. It is healthy to be vulnerable and receive help from safe people.”
“I am kind to myself.”
“I respect my mind, body and soul.”
Your energy is a precious commodity. Your body has limits. Your soul has your divine tasks for you to do. Please treat all parts of you with care, kindness and respect. And if you need a reminder, let me give you permission to say no. Take the time to hear my compassionate whisper in your ear.
Got questions? As a Somatic Healer and Clarity Coach, I guide women in aligning with their physical, emotional and intuitive wisdom, empowering them with clarity and strength in their relationships, career and health. I invite you to schedule your free Clarity Call today.
Also, if you’re in a funky relationship that feels toxic, please download your free eguide, “Escape From the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web” here.
Sending you flowing blessings of Harmony!
Miriam Racquel
Somatic Healer & Clarity Coach
